heart felt.

today was such a beautiful day.
i spent a good portion of it at the temple.
i have been a little (or a lot) stressed with my TO DO list that is basically doubling in size on a daily basis. i just needed a few hours to contemplate life, and make sure i am headed in the right direction. i needed to be reminded that god is aware of me.
he didn't forget. he won't ever forget.

there is a quote by president uchtdorf that says,
"if your heart is inclined towards god, he will be able to guide you even though you may not see what is ahead of you."

and then i had this epiphany:
heavenly father has given me difficult experiences to mold my heart,
so that it will learn to trust him, and want the things he wants.
so that later in life when i am making difficult decisions i will be able to trust my heart.

the future may be uncertain. but i am certain that life is brief. opportunities come and then they are gone. i was presented with an amazing opportunity that will help define me. i am no longer worried. and that is why the temple is so great, you enter with the worries of the world and leave with peace.

i love the temple.

february bike ride? check.

 

i'm a teacher.

 

well i would like to share some wonderful news..

i got the internship!

at 3:35 on friday afternoon i received a very welcomed phone call from the principal of brockbank elementary. 

she said how she was impressed with my interview and that she would like to offer me the position. 

i have planned everything up until that moment, 

and after i hung up the phone panic slightly started to creep into my thoughts.

i going to be a teacher this fall,

i'm going to have my own classroom,

my own class.

wow. wow. wow. wow.wow.

so to celebrate my success my parents took me out for thai curry, 

because they know it's my favorite.

after we finished, i got this fortune that read:

"use your abilities at this time to stay focused on your goal. you will succeed." 

 it kind of made my eyes water when i read it.

so here it finally comes.... 

this is what i have been waiting for since the second grade.

oh how time seems to fly by.

sincerely,

miss haws.

(and i quite like the sound of that.)

worry wart.

tomorrow is possibly one of the biggest days ever.
it all comes down to 8:45 am.
i have an interview for a very important teaching internship.
i will walk into a room with every principal and intern coach looking at me,
they give my a list of questions,
and then i have ten minutes to prove that they should pick me.
choose me.
talk about an incredible amount of pressure.
it's stiff competition.

i was once told, when you stress or worry about something
break it down into the best and worst case scenarios....
and usually the very worst case scenario won't happen.
but even if it does you have already thought about it so it won't be that bad so here it goes:

best case scenario: i get the internship and i start being a teacher next fall.
worst case scenario: i don't get the internship, i have to find a summer job, go to school next fall, and become a student teacher. i could also possibly die from disappointment and end up rotting in a grave somewhere where no one would find me. and then my face would probably end up on a milk carton.

well here goes nothing,
my heart is already beating so fast and my hands are clammy from sweat.
at least i know not to wear the color gray if you catch my drift.
until then, i plan on sitting in a bubble bath until my fingers and toes have turned into shriveled prunes.

a picnic in february.

my friend marcus and i had a picnic at the state capitol.

we went to the new harmons grocery store in downtown slc and almost never left.

it was really that cool.
go go go if you don't believe me.

we took the necessities.

a roast chicken, soda pop shop, macaroni salad and only the blue tootsie rolls.

we had to make a toast for love, because right now we both are kind of lacking in it.

seriously almost everyone i know is married/engaged/settled(ing) down.

so lucky for me to still have a few friends who can relate.
lucky as in, they make me laugh because they say quotes like, 
"i want to burn down the hospital. why? so no one can heal."

blast the future. where the heck are you?

a miracle has occurred.

who goes to the car wash and walks away with their car totaled?

me. i do.

soooo i went to the gym,

pulled into the gas station to get my diet coke reward

and noticed my car was looking a little worn and torn.

 natrually i paid for a car wash and went to wait in line.

i parked behind a man in a big construction truck pulled out my ipod when

BAM.

he backed up right into me. 

accordioned the front of my car.

no one wants to call the cops in their sweaty gym clothes but it also has it's perks.

 you see this new little beauty.

meet my new car.

it was a huge upgrade lets be honest my old car didn't even have radio...

a radio.

i used to drive in silence.

welllll not anymore.

love.

 

so for the spirit of valentines day my family and i decided to be crafty and make "love" block letters (from scratch).
i think that i speak for all of us when i say: if we knew how difficult it would have been we probably would have just ran to the store to buy the blocks.
butttt... (as in but),
i would never trade the memories of
five girls in the garage with
saws, sanders, sawdust everywhere and of course diet cokes
laughing til our cheeks hurt,
for anything.
and that i think is what love is all about.

happy birthday kid sis.

this is here is my kid sister. and today is her 14th birthday.

fourteen. seriously? 

despite the 9ish year age gap she happens to be one of my best friends.

she is the one person who loves justin bieber more than me.

(we have an inside joke about the word shawty. just ask.)

she is the most kind person you will ever meet,

and she can dance a billion times better than i can.

i love talking to her about life. 

in fact just today she was telling me all about how stressful her life was,

and i had to tease her because she didn't win her case...

but it did make me smile because it made me remember back when i was her age.

oh how i wish life was that kind of stressful again.

anyways mo mo, i love you infinity and beyond.

happy dang birthday.

tangled.

(the little dot up in the sky is our wishing lantern..make a wish)

when i first saw the movie tangled i cried.

i fell in love with love, and with wishing lanterns.

last night was spent up in salt lake, and every time i'm there i ask myself a zillion times why i live in provo. there are so many more fun things to do up there...

like for instance:

eating dinner at ruth's diner up emigration canyon followed by:

a drive past the temple up to ensign peak where:

a wishing lantern was written on and let go over the salt lake valley.

so here is how i rate my evenening:

10 stars out of 10.

(but there where probably millions of stars in the sky last night...

with a special one created by us).

the spur bar and grill.

this past weekend was the close of the sundance film festival.

sara and i went up for a night on the town.

we barley missed kim kardashian at maggie moo's ice cream shop,

when bam! we happened to meet these guys.

they played a show at the spur bar and grill.

i can't say that i have ever been to bar previous to this experience.

it was pretty exotic.

i don't really think i dressed appropriately because i didn't see anyone else in a cardigan or tights or even oxfords. i probably stood out like a sore thumb.

but we did order diet cokes from the bar...on the house!

and we spent the night dancing away to jazz music. 

best part of the evening goes to this:

after having developed a crush on the bass guitarist he asked for my phone number and we now have future plans to eat matilda chocolate cake here.

there is a small problem... 

the date isn't until march because he lives three states away.

oh well, it may be worth the wait and until then i'm satisfied with a small celebrity crush.